thankful

it's the week of thanksgiving - the time when our society pauses to reflect in gratitude for all that we have been blessed with. however, i'm experiencing a season in my life right now where i find i have to purposefully look for the blessings (as i tend to want to get mired down in the muck). so, in focusing on what i am thankful for, i've taken a slightly different approach to my list this year. in no particular order, i am thankful for...

1) my infertility: amazing blessings come through our struggles, right? because of this, i know that if and when we are blessed with a child that he/she will be treasured and cherished beyond my wildest comprehension. each time i deal with the symptoms of my hormonal imbalance or feel depressed because of that imbalance, i redirect myself to think about the reward once all of the medical issues are resolved. being someone's mother after the long wanting and waiting will be so, so sweet. i am grateful that - one day - i will know and absorb every minute of the blessing of being a mom. it will be a precious gift that i will receive with such a full and open heart.

2) the challenges of my sister and her ex-husband: this one sounds a little strange, i know. my sister has not lived a charmed life - while married or divorced. her ex-husband has also faced enormous trials and demons. the constant challenges that they both have encountered have obviously impacted the life of their daughter...my adored niece. and yet, as a result, my niece is one of the strongest, most courageous people i know. her capacity for patience and forgiveness exceeds my own feebly limited ability and i am in awe of her. would she be this person if not for what she's lived through? never! so i'm grateful for all of the painful struggles because through them, i have been blessed by my niece's gift of fortitude.

3) my mother: she is my mentor and the most generous, selfless person i have ever known. she has strength i could never muster, she has hope i can not comprehend. i cannot fathom the favor of God to allow me the honor and privilege of calling her my mother. watching her as she battles illness and as she now prepares for whatever lies ahead, i am thankful that i have had these years with her and am grateful for the time i will have with her.

4) my husband: i am blessed...plain and simple. any other man couldn't (or wouldn't) show me the mercy and grace that my husband shows me. he has seen me at my absolute best and unfortunately, at my absolute worst, and has still been a constant champion for me every day. how do i ever express my gratefulness for that kind of unconditional love?

5) my savior: i have traveled a very long road to get here! it has been all at once painful and freeing, yet God is so good to me. this part of my life is still so incredibly fragile, but i know that i am a child of God. i am loved - beyond anything i could ever ask or imagine. and i know that grace...perfect, amazing grace...has saved me. really, that's all i need to know. i trust that the rest will fall into place exactly how it should - and for that, i'm eternally grateful!

wishing you and yours a blessed thanksgiving!

grace and peace,
dana