dislodge (dis-`laj) v. to drive from a place of defense

in eastern medicine, there's the idea that qi, in essence one's energy, passes through your body. when qi becomes "blocked" somewhere in your body, it is believed that illness ensues. eastern practices, such as acupuncture, are predicated on the idea that qi can be "unblocked", thus restoring the patient to health and vitality.

my heart has been going through some big changes lately. in fact, i believe that something - i don't know that i'd call it qi, but something - has been blocked. and trust me, it was completely impacting my physical and mental health. but most importantly, it was sucking the lifeblood out of my spiritual health and precluding any growth.

for the first time, i really made a conscious decision to let go of some old hurts and open up my heart to forgiveness and possibility. see, i had been holding on to a byproduct of those hurts: defensiveness. in my defense (smile), i did that as a feeble attempt to protect myself from being hurt even further. when i finally decided to be honest with myself, i realized that whole system wasn't working too well for me. so, about six weeks ago, i made the decision to forgive. why now? why after all this time? quite frankly, i was tired. it's exhausting to hold on to hurts for as long as i've been holding them in a death grip.

it began with just a little whisper...but almost instantaneously something dislodged in me. and then over the next several weeks? well, imagine the worst clogged drain you've ever seen...yeah, it was beyond that! but i can tell you now that my gracious, amazing, magnificent, and holy god has dislodged my hurt and fear and guilt. the best part? he's been filling up that empty space with such indescribable love and grace and peace. everything i've known and everything i see has taken on a new sheen and i can tell you in no uncertain terms - i would much rather have this perspective than the one i had a few months ago!

i guess it may not take acupuncture for me to be restored. rather, maybe it just takes a lot of love. i'm good with that because i know that love never fails (i cor 13:8).

grace and peace,
dana